Best way to implement Video IM on site

I'm developing what will be a high volume traffic site.

To give you some background, its currently based in jQuery, PHP and mysql. Soon, I will be also be implementing NodeJS.

I am looking for an open sourced video chat application that will allow:

1) For 2 people to video IM each other.

2) Allow groups of up to 4 people to video IM each other.

On the server side:

Can those in the know please fill me in. The last time I looked into this was in 2007/8 and it was Flash Comms server and using Flash for the client.

No开发者_JS百科w its nearly 2011, are there any better solutions?

Is there a way to leverage skype or facetime?

Are there any solutions which are peer to peer, so I do not have high bandwidth costs.

On the client side:

Is there a way to build a plugin for chrome/firefox but then degrade to flash for IE ?

I guess what I am asking is, whether Flash is still the primary solution or can I use something else for the browser?

Thanks for any answers :)

In the end I went with Wowza server and Flash client for the AV chat.

It will take some time for a P2P solution other than from Adobe and HTML5 connecting to a webcam is a long ways off.